How Ego Almost Ruined My 6-Figure Business (But Not My Life)

I have never felt more scared to write a blog post in my entire life.

And that’s why I know you have to hear this story.

Because, as a Profile Line 3 with Gate 51 defined in my Conscious Human Design, it’s kind of my Universal job to experience things and share them with you - even if it isn’t comfortable for me.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through any of this is that this job, this Purpose I’ve been given - it’s not about me. It’s about you.

So, scared or not, here I am. Here’s the real real.

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When I started coaching, it was because it was in my bones. I’d already been doing it for years - I just wasn’t getting paid for it.

Like I said, as a 3/5 Profile with Gate 51 defined in my Incarnation Cross, it’s written into my Cosmic Code that coaching, leading, and guiding are my bigger purpose.

I’d already noticed the pattern before leaning into coaching full time: I’d go through something hellish, rise up and conquer that “level,” and then I would soon after meet someone (usually a woman) who was going through what I just overcame. I’d reflect my experience and let her know I understood how she felt, share how I coped with the experience, and give her a hopeful example of where she could be on the other side of this pain.

From the moment I began coaching professionally, I just felt at home. It felt right.

Intuitively and experientially, I already had a lot to start with when I was at the jumping off point in my career, but I also studied different life coaching modalities to offer my clients along with my innate skills.

Something magical happened when I found the language of Astrology.

I’ve written a whole blog post about Astrology itself, so I don’t want to take us off course into that love affair - but it’s an important part of this Story, too.

Because that’s when my business really began to take off.

Suddenly, I knew how to market my offerings.

Suddenly, I was better at understanding my clients, on levels even they didn’t understand themselves.

Suddenly, I had the answers I needed about a person before I even had a sales conversation with them in the first place.

Suddenly, I was in a white-hot niche that had very little competition in the small Facebook pool I was swimming in for finding fresh leads.

I gotta tell you. It was a pretty powerful shift, not just in my business - but in my whole life.

It was like a night/day kind of a shift.

I went from living with my daughter in a bedroom in my mother’s house, making less than $1,000 a month in my business in December - to living in a beautiful one-bedroom apartment in a nice neighborhood I’ve wanted to live in since I was a little girl by April, making an average of $8,000 cash monthly, selling well into 5-figures.

I’d separated from my daughter’s father in December, and by the time I moved into my new place, I was a little over a month into a newly budding romance with my current boyfriend.

About a month after that, I hired my best friend of 15 years to come be my house manager - to help me with things like laundry and cooking and taking care of my kiddo while I work.

People I’d looked up to in my industry were starting to notice me and talk to me as a peer, not as a potential lead. They were asking me for my expertise, even.

I began booking plane tickets to places I’d never been. Twice to Los Angeles, once to New York City.

(I later reflected on an old manifestation journaling exercise on 11/11/2017 that said I’d travel out of state 3 times by 11/11/2018 - something I totally forgot about writing in that journal.)

Then I hit that magic number we see in the Facebook-preneur community: the first $10,000 cash month. And in that moment, something broke down inside of me.

I thought I had to “be” something for you, for everyone.

And that was the beginning of my Ego spiral.

You see, Ego gives an interesting twist on your psychological perception of your present reality.

// Before we go any further, I want to offer a little breakdown of the 3 parts of our psyche:

  • The Id - controls basic human drive & function. Hunger, sex, pleasure, gratification. It is the concern of the Id to feel good, at all times. We’re not conscious of the Id; it is primal and instinctual.

  • The Ego - seeks to feed the Id in realistic ways that avoid long-term pain/displeasure. Judgment, tolerance, control, planning. According to Freud, the ego is pretty much half conscious, half unconscious.

  • The Super-Ego - influenced mostly by your cultural & parental/familial experiences. Mentors, coaches, parents, teachers, inspirational figures - the things you take away from these people form the rules & constructs in your Super-Ego, speaking to you as your conscience, or Inner Dialogue.

Ego is designed by nature to protect you.

When we were just cave folk, the Ego gave us our “fear” response to protect us from dealing with extreme pain, tragedy, or anything else that is unpleasing to the Id. We’d experience a thing, like seeing a dangerous animal maul a family member for a crazy extreme example, and catalogue it in our memory banks, for Ego to pull it up for use in the future to save our asses from getting mauled, too.

In present day, we’re not really out here using our Ego to protect us from getting mauled all that often. Mostly, we’re using our Ego to protect us from heartbreak, rejection, and pain.

And because we’re not always conscious of the Ego’s influence on our actions, sometimes the avalanche of self-sabotage, projection, repression, & more all come crashing down on you before you even know what you did to set this sequence of events into place to begin with.

What exactly did my self-sabotage look like, you ask?

  • Immediately upon returning home from Los Angeles the first time at the end of June, hot off the Emotional-High of a weekend business retreat with a mentor I’ve grown to love and admire as both a business woman and a friend - I acted outside of my Authority and completely re-directed my niche, my business model, my pricing. Everything. From making over $11,000 cash in May 2018, I made just $4,000 cash in August.

  • I decided I no longer wanted to work with Emotional people. Despite this being exactly what I’m meant to do in the world, I decided I was no longer available to work with people who clung to a Story of pain and trauma. Instead, I wanted to work with “important people” who felt like they were also important. But I had no idea who to talk to, how to talk to them, where they were, why they needed me - because I wasn’t supposed to be doing that in the first place.

  • I put out a bunch of programs, from a place of scarcity and fear, just doing things because I thought it was what other people wanted from me, or what I thought would pay the bills. It wasn’t coming from a place of truth or the desire to truly help anyone. So - without surprise - none of these programs sold. 0% success rate.

I was pushing away the audience magnetically drawn to me by Universal Design, demolishing my business & income, and crushing my confidence - all out of Ego.

Of course, as a Line 3, self-sabotaging out of Ego isn’t entirely new to me.

Being a coach, I’m also pretty self-aware of when I need to do the work and take a good look in the mirror, myself.

So let me tell you how - this time - I was able to recognize my Ego, confront it, & get back on track in my business without totally derailing my life in the process.

  • I let myself be supported by professionals. With the help of two different coaches offering two different perspectives for me, I was able to recognize that I’d acted outside of my Human Design Authority and come back to monitoring my Emotional highs/lows carefully.

    This also allowed me the opportunity to peel back the layers in the actions I took out of Ego, and walk back to my real Purpose in why I started this work, with the support of successful people who had been where I was now.

    Before this, my Ego would have kept me from being totally honest with people I respect. I’d gloss over the struggles, glorifying the wins. “I’ve got this, don’t worry about me,” was my mantra. This time, instead of putting on a front for them, trying to make them proud or be their favorite client, I let myself be broken in front of them. I cried, I was honest, I dove fearlessly into old stories to get to the patterns that needed to be seen & changed.

  • I let myself be supported by my loved ones. With my income taking such a sharp downturn, I wasn’t able to follow up on the commitment I made to my best friend all the time (I still owe her a lot of money tbh), and this created such an awful pit of guilt inside of me every time she still showed up at my house everyday to help me with my kid and my house, while I fruitlessly pecked away at the computer for 18-20 hours a day with “nothing” to show for it (not true, but that’s what it felt like). I was sure my best friend would leave me, that she’d tell me she’d had enough of working on a promise that wasn’t being fulfilled, and that she’d walk out and leave me to balance work, my house, and my baby all alone again. She didn’t. She’s still here - and she’s actually insistent that I get an office ASAP to create even more work/life balance and boost my productivity.

    This month, I needed help paying my rent, and my boyfriend offered me the difference I needed to make the payment on time. I felt so embarrassed admitting to him - having met him when my business was shooting into the stratosphere - that I was struggling to pay my bills and put food on the table. His response: “What’s mine is yours. We’re here to support each other.”

    Before this, my Ego would have kept me from asking for the help I needed from people I love - because my belief system relied in them needing me, not the other way around. “People only love me for what I can do for them. When they’ve tapped me out, they’re gone,” was the belief system my Ego held. This time, I decided it didn’t have to be that way. I decided I was allowed to be unconditionally loved, and that I was allowed to be vulnerable with people who love me. Having come from a life experience that told me I was on my own and no one was coming to my rescue, it has been an absolute dream allowing myself to receive the help, love, and support I’ve needed in this Season of Growth.

The biggest difference between who I was before knowing & embracing the concept of continuous Ego Death is that I no longer feel like reality is fixed.

The rules of “before” don’t have to apply to now.

Just because I’ve felt unloved, rejected, abandoned, and unsupported doesn’t make that a Universal Truth.

Even though I went through a Season of Growth when my Ego took charge and tried to protect me against the perceived danger ahead if I kept growing without addressing these underlying Stories, I was still okay.

And that was a completely different reality than anything I’d ever experienced before - which challenged and demolished the Stories of the past.

That’s Ego Death.

Let me ask you something…

>> Have you ever felt like you were trading or bargaining for love and/or validation?

>> have you ever felt afraid to show all of yourself to others because you are protecting yourself from rejection or abandonment?

>> have you ever felt withdrawn or uncomfortable socializing with others unless “you know” or have “value” to add?

These patterns didn’t show up out of nowhere.

There was something that happened. An experience. A relationship.

Something, or someone, at some point instilled the belief in your Ego that you weren’t enough on your own.

This belief doesn’t feel good, so your Ego protects your Id against that pain again by causing you to hide in a lot of ways, to cultivate how you show up to others.

You over-do,
You over-prove,
You over-achieve — all in the hope that something will finally earn you the love & validation you desperately seek.

But you can’t truly experience unconditional love and support without allowing yourself to be fully seen, as your whole, imperfect Self.

 
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Take back your Power.
Transcend your Story.
Experience Life (& Love) like never before.

// Beginning Scorpio Season | October 24, 2018 //

I’m looking for brave, bold women who are ready to face Death in order to achieve the ultimate Rebirth.

This is for you if you desire to…

Stop fighting to be seen, heard, loved, & received unconditionally.

Feel more confident - excited even! - to try new things, meet new people, and build community that empowers you (and vice versa).

Shed the fear of being radically transparent & finally get real with the people in your life (and with yourself).


The Ego Death Experience is currently closed

Keep your eyes open for the next Round of this program, in January 2019.


What is your experience with Ego & Ego Death? Have you been able to catch your Ego before you actually commit an act of self-sabotage? Share your Story in the Comments, & Grab your Seat for the Ego Death Experience before 10/24 when the program begins at the start of Scorpio Season!

Go Inside & Rebirth Yourself This Venus Retrograde 2018

Let me start this by saying that I do not give you permission to let your life turn into a disaster movie just because a Star turned Retrograde.

That’s not what the study of Astrology is for, and I refuse to be a party to that doom-and-gloom, black-and-white kind of Cosmic read.

These are fluid Astrological movements that are here on purpose - planned by Universal mathematics long before we were even born.

So instead of succumbing to some kind of Cosmic definition of what you think is supposed to happen based on the Stars’ alignments, how about you try a different approach and… go with the flow?

Venus Retrograde 2018: October 5 (in Scorpio) - November 16 (in Libra)

Venus represents our value system - what we find attractive and beautiful, what brings us comfort and pleasure.

When this planet (or any planet, for that matter) goes Retrograde, we are going to feel tension around this particular area of our lives and will be asked to go inside and look for the truth.

It’s very easy to live life with blinders on, just going about our day-to-day business in the hum and rhythm of the routine. But with that, we can also lose sight of our inner voice and what’s truly important to our soul - getting caught up in the regular stressors of life, like frustrations at home, at work, with money, with relationships.

Venus going Retrograde offers us the time and space to ask ourselves, “Are we going after the things and people in life that we REALLY want? Is my soul happy with my choices?”

Part One: Venus Retrograde in Scorpio (October 5 - November 1)

Venus Retrograde 2018 will have two distinct phases. The first phase is from the Libra New Moon through the Taurus Full Moon cycle, when Venus is Retrograde in Scorpio.

Scorpio is probably the most interesting Sign for Venus to go Retrograde in because while a Retrograde is already calling for you to cast light on things that aren’t usually up for discussion - Scorpio is literally holding on to the LAST THINGS you want to think about/discuss. Sex. Financials. Traumas. Taboos. All the things that everyone is thinking about but no one wants to talk about.

It’s time to clear out the cobwebs and get real about what’s been going on (and what you really want).

Part Two: Venus Retrograde in Libra (November 1 - 16)

The second phase of the Venus Retrograde 2018 period will be in impartial Libra. So the thing about Libra is that - while ultimately seeking harmony - it is almost completely unemotional in its judgment.

Though Libra is ruled by one of the faces of Venus (on the other side of Taurus’s self-indulgent face of Venus), its concern lies in the partnership of the unit. It’s less sentimental, more logic-driven.

Alright, so what’s this even mean?

The first wave of Venus Retrograde in Scorpio digs through all the old relationship Stories in our past that we never wanted to see the light of day - while the Sun is in impartial Libra, just shining a spotlight on the whole beautiful mess. Emotionally during this time, we can expect to go from “almost no fucks given” to “the most fucks given.”

The second wave of Venus Retrograde in Libra is like rebuilding a beachfront town after the tidal wave of Scorpio has receded. Our sentimental side will have gotten to the bottom of the digging, and is now just surveilling the situation. What’s still worth salvaging? What needs to be trashed? All the while, the Sun - having moved into Scorpio - is casting its transformative light onto your rebuilding site, giving you the emotional strength & perspective you need to see this through.

Wait - Didn’t I say “no disaster movie”?

This doesn’t have to look like chaos. We’ve got the benefit of having a weather forecast!

We can prepare.

We can unify.

We don’t have to do this alone.

Because I’m not going to lie - it could very well get heavy in here. But those heavy stories are usually the ones where I find the juiciest lessons.

I’m holding a 40-Day Venus Retrograde Meditation Series in my Free Facebook Group, starting on October 8 - with a Pre-Work Intention Setting event kicking off this weekend on October 5.

Inside the container of the 40-Day Meditation Series, you’ll receive:

  • Love & support from me and the rest of the women inside this space

  • A short guided Hatha Yoga flow for your daily meditation warm-up

  • A new guided meditation to download each Monday for six weeks, intentionally created for that week’s Astrological movements during the Retrograde

We begin holding space this weekend: Friday, October 5, through Sunday, October 7!

Choose to grow & transform with support this Venus Retrograde Season - join the Free Facebook Group, Embody Your (Whole) Truth: Mind-Body-Soul Support with Tiffani Purdy

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How to Use Astrology as a Personal Development Tool

You might say, as a Profile Line 3 in my Human Design with the Gate of Shock defined in my Incarnation Cross - my life has been a constant journey in personal development.

I’m an experimenter, a mistake-maker, a learner & improver.

I’ve shared before about how I wound up stumbling into using Astrology as a tool for healing past stories and finding answers & clarity in my future - but I’d like to highlight some of the ways Astrology has actually done that for me now.

(Skip to the bottom to catch a SUPER EXCLUSIVE BONUS for all ASTROLOGY 101 students that sign up before 10/1)

Astrology offers a peek into the past

One of the bigger pain points, a huge turning point in my life, was my dad passing.

This happened on June 2, 2003.
I was 14.

When I draw out the transits for this date to my natal chart (meaning I took a look at what the Stars were doing on the day my father passed away to see how they interacted with my own Cosmic Imprint), I see...

+ Transiting Chiron Rx is directly conjunct my natal Sun
+ Transiting Saturn is in my 8th House, at an exact semi-square to my natal Pluto
+ Pallas in my father's Sun Sign, Aries, which was also exactly inconjunct to my natal Pluto
+ Transiting Moon ran right over my natal Chiron
+ Transiting Jupiter just a degree away from an exact square to my natal Pluto

This circle tells me right away that this wasn't a great day, or a very positive, happy time for me, in general.

This is a time frame was one where I was experiencing deep wounds that would directly affect my most prominent traits + self.

There's a strong indication here with the second and third transits I listed that I was going to lose my father, even more specifically, to addiction/alcohol abuse.⠀

This also triggered a deeper wound in my relationship with my biological mother, who still suffers from her addictions to this day. (Reflecting now, one of the first things that came out of my mouth when I got the news my father had passed was: "I need to go see my mom," who was in prison at the time.)

This presented an opportunity for me. A choice. Expand or contract. Understandably for a damaged 14 year old, I chose the latter.

Today, though, 15 years later, I can find more peace.

I've found many new stories and opportunities to cope with the loss of my father over the years, but I have to be honest: Nothing has brought me the kind of peace that Astrology has.

Because - call it what you will - this was a divinely intended story that was written in the Stars long before my father's passing. Before his birth, even.

It feels like there's more of a reason for losing a brilliant, warm, kind father at the age of 42.

And that brings me peace.

What a blessing it is to have another tool to use to reflect on these past traumas in our lives, to see “why” this happened in a bigger way.

Astrology offers valuable relationship insights

Another insanely profound personal development tool for creating happier relationships with the people around me has been using a type of Astrological chart called Synastry, which basically just tells us about the compatibility of two souls.

How can we best support each other? How can we grow together? Why did our souls choose each other?

These are the kinds of questions we find answers to inside Synastry charts.

Let’s look at my Synastry with my daughter, for an example to follow:

>> What stands out the most:
My Sun 3’ conjunct Mana’s Pluto
My Moon/Neptune 3’ conjunct Mana’s Pluto
My Mercury 1’ conjunct Mana’s Ceres
My Chiron 3’ conjunct Mana’s Sun
My Chiron 0’ conjunct Mana’s Mars
My Venus 0’ conjunct Mana’s MC
My Part of Fortune 2’ conjunct Mana’s Saturn

The birth of my daughter brought on a rebirth - in every sense. I literally almost died in the hours after my daughter was born. And beyond my actual life, every other aspect of me changed, too. My emotional self, my ego, my purpose.

My daughter’s presence stirred up a lot of deeply rooted fear in me - the abandonment of a parent. Of course, this wound resurfaced in a totally different way that inspired me to take more action in caring for my physical body - because this fear was rooted in my own mortality, and the fear that I’d die too soon and “leave” my daughter.

Her appearance in my life also stirred up the continually revisited childhood wound of desiring a close maternal relationship. I feared that I wouldn’t do things right, that I wouldn’t be enough, that she would crave more from a mother - something I somehow couldn’t give to her.

But truly, I see a lot of potential here for me to be a guiding force for her in the long-term, and vice versa - particularly when it comes to career and creating money. I don’t know if I would have ever gotten my shit together in my career if it wasn’t out of necessity of having a child, and the Stars definitely point to that possibility.

>> What naturally works:
My NN 1’ trine Mana’s Sun
My Mars 2’ trine Mana’s Jupiter
My Uranus 0’ sextile Mana’s Uranus
My Mercury 0’ trining Mana’s NN
My Ceres 1’ trine Mana’s Saturn
My Ascendant 0’ trining Mana’s Chiron
My MC 0’ trining Mana’s MC

Ultimately, I found purpose when my daughter was born. I’m living my purpose when I’m nurturing her and spending time with her, especially at home. Everything else flows naturally when I am taking it easy with her; in fact, when I do just that, and pursue things that are entertaining and bringing us joy (especially when these decisions are somewhat spontaneous) - she brings me a certain element of luck.

One of the things that stands out the most here is that we help each other to learn how to express ourselves more and more authentically - but I can also see how the first impression I give people might ruffle her feathers a little bit. She may wonder why some people perceive me as rather cold & penetrating when she knows me to be such an emotional, compassionate creature.

More and more when I examine our charts, I see the career potential we bring out in each other. This is particularly nice for me to see and brings a certain level of peace, because I don’t have to worry that my love & dedication to my work will upset her - as long as I can maintain balance. She knows my love for what I do and who I serve can’t compete with my love for her.

>> Opportunities for growth:
My Saturn 0’ opposing Mana’s Sun
My Saturn 0’ squaring Mana’s NN
My Uranus 3’ opposing Mana’s Sun
My Chiron 2’ squaring Mana’s NN / SN
My Pallas 1’ opposing Mana’s Venus
My Pallas 0’ opposing Mana’s Jupiter
My Ascendant 0’ squaring Mana’s Venus, Jupiter

But of course, it’s not all rainbows! There’s work to be done in our karmic family, and we chose each other for a reason.

While on the one hand, Mana understands my love and drive for my work; on the other, she derives a lot of identity through her connection to me/motherhood - so when I do get in those overload moments and fall into my own cosmic lesson/downfall of overworking myself, she does have the potential to take it personally. This, of course, triggers my own spark of rebellion - like #MamaCapricorn is gonna let a kid dictate how she shows up and feels expressed (through work).

We need a healthy dose of active communication - which works out because the way I communicate is exactly what she’s looking for from a mother - and our relationship should flow smoothly.

What’s interesting is that one of my fears was that she would crave a softer, more “crunchy” kind of mom like you see these days - super hands-on and making motherhood the top priority in my life - but what I see in our charts is actually that she appreciates my assertiveness and directness. She sees my soft side already; I don’t have do try to do or be anything other than who I am to be the kind of mom she needs to thrive.

Astrology helps us to feel more confident pursuing our Soul’s divine purpose & achieving real emotional freedom

There are a few placements that I like to look at for Soul Purpose, but this is a really great example of one of my more significant players in my Cosmic Design that Astrology helped me to really see:

“My kid has gone from ‘Powerpuff Girl jumping feet first into her plate of crackers and peanut butter,’ to ‘Wild child taking flying leaps from the top of her slide,’ to ‘Hungry baby shredding slices of cheese onto the carpet while I’m trying to do my job’ in the span of 3 hours.

Didn’t anyone tell her that I have shit to do today?

So I rescheduled some appointments.
Shuffled around my priorities for the day.
Ran around the house with my kid.
Played with her + took silly pictures.
Pulled out my yoga mat + followed a 20-minute flow with her running all around, pulling on my hair, mimicking my poses and getting bored and running off again.

I can really feel my 4th House Pisces North Node calling me back to Center today - loud and clear!

>> 4th House :: Motherhood, home, comfort + nurturing
>> Pisces :: Healing presence, spirituality, connection to Source, creativity
>> North Node (NN) :: A placement in your natal chart that indicates your life purpose; where you need to expand, what you need to embrace in order to achieve karmic + spiritual fulfillment

This placement has an opposite counterpart that tells us what we should be releasing - yet we tend to fall into when we lose ourselves and want it to be comfortable/easy: South Node (SN).

My SN is in the 10th House in Virgo. A tendency to analyze and become enveloped in and attempt to perfect my career life? Who, me?!

Today is a perfect example of what it looks like to truly embody my Nodal Mission.

To stay loose in my business life, to keep it fun and malleable.

To have more fun in my home; spend more time with my child; to find more creative, compassionate space within my home; to be more kind to myself and put less pressure on vocational achievement.

And honestly? I’m so much more peaceful, creative, and blissful today for not putting pressure on myself, my toddler, and my environment to “step it up” and conform to my schedule.

In fact, for recognizing an opportunity to follow my Nodal mission or to fall back into the South Node behaviors - my day/life is all the more easy, fun, and downright magical.

As you can see, the study of Astrology offers a jumping off point for real therapeutic & personal development work to begin.

I’ve been asked for months to create an online course that teaches the ins-and-outs of Astrology 101, for independent study & personal development, as well as existing coaches who want to add Astrology to their tool belt of coaching modalities to offer clients.

And it’s finally here!

>> ASTROLOGY 101 WITH TIFFANI PURDY is OPEN NOW <<

Until October 1, 2018 @ 12am EST, Astrology 101 students can also take advantage of a CRAZY good offer & book a Breakthrough Astro Session with me for just $111 - that’s over 65% off the regular price of booking this private 1.5hr session to go into both your Astrological & Human Design Charts.

Inside this program, you’ll learn…

✔️ Why your horoscope just doesn't quite fit sometimes - and how to see the bigger picture

✔️ How to find peace with the past & possibility in your present and future - because you can see it right there as it was written from the moment you took your first breath

✔️ How to use Astrology as a personal development tool for yourself OR for clients in your own coaching practice⠀

This is my most highly requested digital product & I'm SO EXCITED to finally share it with you now.

  Are you interested in learning more about Astrology for your own personal development, or to use as a modality of guidance in your own coaching practice?     Sign up for Astrology 101!

Are you interested in learning more about Astrology for your own personal development, or to use as a modality of guidance in your own coaching practice? Sign up for Astrology 101!

Are you interested in learning more about Astrology for your own personal development, or to use as a modality of guidance in your own coaching practice? Sign up for Astrology 101!: http://mamacapricorn.com/astro-101-intro

3 Myths About Upleveling You Can Choose to Ignore Now

It’s not in my Design to sit still for too long.

I get stagnant. I get complacent. I get bored.

And honestly? I notice I start getting short-tempered, stressed out, and am living in a place of pure lack and fear.

Things I hardly ever notice or find myself stressed about - like client sessions, finding new clients, receiving money/covering my bills, and even communication between myself + people in my life - are all I can think about when I get into that bored, complacent space.

By contrast, when I’m feeling like I’m in a space of infinite possibility, growing and expanding, it’s like my worries just melt away. I’m free to create and share and serve in the way my heart most desires in the moment. I just live in love and awe of every moment of my life. And, as if by magic, clients come pouring in, I’m receiving all over the place, and my bank account grows rapidly.

Now, I could go into the Astro-talk of it all, showing you where in my natal chart + Human Design this behavior pattern plays out - but I don’t think you’re here for that.

The point is that it’s simply not who I was Designed to be to limit myself. And the absolute freedom I know + have experienced is what keeps me honest when it’s time to keep growing.

I don’t fear it. I embrace it with both arms wide open, hurdling toward growth like I’m in a cheesy rom-com, running into the arms of my lover after we’ve been separated for too long.

But I now understand that this is actually a pretty unique quality I possess, and it’s the gift I’ve been called to share with the world.

I know so many people who stay in a place that’s “comfortable” (read: something they’ve lived with for so long, their ego just spirals + freaks out at the possibility of trying to live a different way) because they’re too scared to try something new.

Part of what I was Designed to do is to inspire (and sometimes even trigger) people into realizing they’ve been living in that place of fear and have all the potential in the world necessary for tapping into that same growth-space I adore oh-so-much.

So I’m going to “Line 3” for you today, sharing my own experience + plans (which will probably change in the future - that’s just how I operate as a Manifesting Generator with a lot of Initiating energy in my Design) to hopefully inspire you to take the leap toward happiness.

Started from the bottom…

I won’t spend too much time in the past, but just to give you a little perspective on where I’ve been and how I got here:

  • 2011 - 2012: Lived in a tent on an organic farm on the Big Island of Hawaii. In an effort to follow my Spirit, I wanted to “be free of money” and live/work with the earth. It was peaceful for a while, but not entirely fulfilling. I wanted to touch more lives somehow.

  • 2013 - 2015: Worked different jobs here and there, hosting at restaurants while I studied Communications (then planning to go into Journalism), and making my way into the world of marketing. I found myself working at Lush Cosmetics, where I met the father of my child and got pregnant with my baby girl shortly after; this is where I found a true passion for business and what it means to sell something you believe in.

  • 2015 - April 2017: While pregnant, I had begun facing the reality that my day job at a retail shop at the mall wasn’t going to pay the bills. Not even close. So as much as I loved what I was doing, I knew I had to grow. Raising my newborn, I worked mostly as a freelance writer, editing and blogging for small businesses and online publications. I was also trying my hand at different approaches for building my personal brand and influence (though still unsure what I was even doing, or why - I just knew I had something to say); You name it, I tried it. Mommy blogging, Instagramming, membership programs, brand consultation, more freelance blogging. Finally, I landed in a role I’d been playing alongside all of these trial/error projects without realizing it: I became a Life Coach!

  • April 2017 - June 2018: It took me a while to find my first real niche/language for communicating with my coaching clients. Mostly, I was using modalities that I’d been using for my own personal development: Positive Psychology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, even tapping into Quantum Physics and the concepts of time, space, and creation. Finally, my friend Caitlin Littleford clued me into the world of Astrology - and the whole game changed. Shortly after, my business coach + mentor Paige Filliater opened me up to the energetic side of the astrological puzzle with Human Design. And life got good as fuck, y’all.

  • June 2018 - Present: Had a crazy epiphany about the way my business was functioning (I was strictly serving aspiring business owners at the time) and threw the whole business model in the trash. Began studying at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and taking a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training program, to further expand my coaching practice.

Now, it wasn’t all business…

While the focus of this post is obviously concerning my career/professional development, make no mistake - this was a total life transformation at work here.

Every time I was on the cusp of another big shift to the next level, it started the same way: That feeling of stress, discomfort, and limitation would overwhelm me entirely. It’s a full body experience.

When one area of my life would catapult forward, it forced the other areas of my life to catch up. Because the energy just didn’t match anymore.

If I started feeling like it was time to make another career pivot, I asked myself, “What else isn’t working? What else feels limiting?”

The answers would show up literally everywhere.

My physical health + well being.
My personal relationships - family, friends, and lovers included.
My connection to Source.
My personal development.
My current resources + bank account balance.

I learned that if I wanted to keep growing in one area of my life, I’d have to keep growing in all the areas of my life.

This is definitely one of the most impactful lessons of my life so far - and one I see holding people back every single day.

“What if my friends judge me or won’t like me anymore? What if we have nothing to talk about?”

“What if my partner doesn’t want to embrace growth and abundance mindset?”

“What if I have to give up ‘all the good stuff’? Can I ever just Netflix and chill again?”

You can’t keep yourself small for fear of things changing.

Of course, things are going to change when you decide you want more in life.

But here’s the thing - you don’t have to stay in that space of fear. You have the power to recognize the fear and decide to take charge of the story.

3 Myths About Upleveling You Can Choose to Ignore Now

  1. MYTH #1: You’ll lose all your friends, all your family/personal relationships have to change, and/or you’ll wind up divorced when you decide to uplevel. Okay, so this isn’t totally true, but it’s not totally not true, either. You can still appreciate the people, as they exist, currently in your life while you grow. They don’t have to grow with you for you to maintain relationships with them. Your job is to be you. Grow if you wanna grow - but you can’t drag anyone through personal development with you.

    Some people in your life might be inspired by your transformation unfolding in front of them and will want to know what you’ve been doing. They might even join you! Some people simply won’t care one way or the other, but they’ll support you from the sidelines the best way they know how. That’s still a win in my book! Some people might be offended/triggered in some way and may express some form of discontent as a result of you growing. You then get to respond: Do you stay in the frequency of people who don’t have your highest good at heart? Or do you lovingly create space between you and the people who aren’t happy watching you thrive?

    So yes - some relationships might end. But are you living your life for them, or for you?

  2. MYTH #2: You’ve got to turn raw vegan, become a yogi, collect all the crystals, burn sage, etc. if you wanna be “woke.” This is just straight-up nonsense. There’s no one right way to live abundantly and tap into your sacred connection to Source.

    Now, I will get real with you about my own personal development story here and now: My success as a human being depends on me treating my body with respect. When I’m not hydrating properly, over-caffeinated, and haven’t moved my body in days/weeks - my mood sucks, my sense of support + abundance dries up, and I feel totally disconnected from my creative center. And sure, it’s nice to have “woo” tools to diffuse energy and enhance flow, but they’re most certainly not a requirement of spiritual or personal development.

    I happily eat cheeseburgers, drink coffee, and lounge around all day binging on Criminal Minds and The Office. But I also start my days with a fresh green juice, make time for my yoga practice every day, and feed my mind with high vibe content on a regular basis. This is what feels good + expansive to me right now. I listen to my Inner Authority and own my truth, and I allow my life to ebb and flow with my Emotional Authority’s ups-and-downs.

    I’m gonna do me. You do you. If what I do appeals to you, try it on! If what I do (or your fave spiritual leader) doesn’t quite resonate with you, don’t stress yourself out trying to apply someone else’s high vibe lifestyle to your own.

  3. MYTH #3: If you decide to hop on the personal development train, you can’t ever stop. Listen - I know it can feel overwhelming to decide you want to do, be, and have more in life. Spiritual development, professional development, physical wellness, positive thinking + communication, digging up old stories to heal + forgive the past… Where does it stop? Does it ever?

    Life isn’t a race, my friends. You’re allowed to go as fast or slow on this ride as you want. It’s up to you! If you want to take a minute to rest, to breathe, to enjoy the fruits of your labor before moving forward again, that’s your prerogative. Don’t let anyone else’s rate of speed influence how you feel about your own.

    In fact, I’d even argue that pausing to appreciate the quiet middle moments between growth spurts is where we really find the juiciness in the experience. So go ahead and savor them. Take your time, if you want. This is your game to play - just make sure you don’t stop playing entirely.

You’re the only one who gets to live + Experience your Story. Make it yours. Make it good.

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How are you keeping yourself small? Can you remember a time in your life when you wanted to grow but stopped yourself because of one of these myths - or something else? Share your Story in the comments xx


PS - This post contains an affiliate link for the Institute of Integrated Nutrition (IIN). When you use my link + enroll as a student at IIN, you’re earning me a little cash for referring you to the program. This doesn’t cost you anything extra; it’s just a bonus I get from IIN for sharing them with my friends (that’s you!)