It's Time to Tell a Better Story
When I wrote the first prompt for the students in my 8-Week Creative Writing Intensive, I (admittedly) expected there to be a little resistance around the exercise.
What I DIDN'T expect was for all of them to have a common theme that echoed in every single one of their pieces.
So I'm curious to see what comes up for you:
>> Describe yourself from the perspective of someone else who is meeting you for the first time. <<
Take a few minutes & journal it out, or just meditate on the prompt & come back to me in a moment.
Don’t freak out. There’s no right or wrong answer to this question.
Now let me ask you this:
Do you believe that this person meeting you for the first time perceives you as "unapproachable" or "intimidating"?
If you answered "yes" to that question, I have a follow up question:
Are you a woman?
WHY ARE WE ALL TAUGHT THIS LIE?!
This is a fucking STORY.
And believing the Story, ourselves, MAKES it real.
Stop telling yourself that tired fucking Story that was designed to keep us separate.
We are stronger when we have bonds.
We have support when we allow ourselves to connect with people who understand us.
We cannot be broken when we have the unconditional love of our Spirit Family.
I know that, for me, this was an incredibly challenging Story to face.
Being the ambitious woman I am with the kind of masculine energy I carry being so Saturn-dominant, I have often felt like I was on the outside of female friendships.
I grew up with the Story that there’s only room for a few women at the top, that women are “bitchy,” that it’s better if you’re “not like other girls.”
I’m sure you’ve heard Stories like that, too.
Maybe you’ve thought to yourself that someone seemed like a bitch before you got to know them.
Maybe you’ve been told that by someone who got to know you and later confessed that they’d been intimidated by you at first.
That is definitely an experience I’ve had more than a few times. And it was really sad and isolating.
I didn’t know how to, or if I could even, make real friends.
Now, here I am - 30 years old - and because of this screwed up Story that tells us “women are bitches after our men and our careers,” I’m only just now learning what it feels like to have the love and support of women who get me.
If you’ve been a member of the online entrepreneurial community for a while, I’m sure you’ve heard the sentiment of “community over competition.”
Well, that was a cute idea to me, but it was such a foreign concept when I first ventured out into the world of sole-proprietorship that I really just didn’t know how I felt about it.
(There was a lot of scarcity and fear-based thinking inside me at that point, too. But that’s another Story for another day.)
I hid behind the screen for a long time, and I didn’t allow myself to truly connect and make meaningful bonds with the people in my community.
And to be honest, this life was incredibly stressful & lonely. So I did something about it.
I chose a better Story.
I decided that, for me, the "women-don't-like-you-and-you're-intimidating" Story is officially retired.
Tapping into the Ego Death System outlined in my book, THE EGO DEATH EXPERIENCE, I was able to dismantle and rebuild the belief systems that were holding me back from establishing the kinds of friendships I’d always wanted.
Today, I have the best group of girlfriends I could ever ask for - and they live all over the world. I get to meet up with them when I travel to a new city, and they get to catch up with me when they travel to Tampa.
We talk “shop,”
We talk about love and relationships and men,
We share our philosophies and politics,
We eat delicious food and drink full cups of coffee and laugh and cry and celebrate and scream together.
All because I made a subtle shift in the way I tell my Story.
I’m not intimidating or unapproachable, & neither are you.
You're energetic, fun, and alluring upon first glance.
Your aura is magnetic and inviting.
Your presence brightens any room.
Believe it like you believe the Sun will rise tomorrow.
Because that’s a way better Story, isn’t it?
with love & grit
xx Tiffani Purdy